Wednesday 24 September 2008

Take the money and run

Last night I went to do a stand-up gig in St Helens. But it wasn't any normal gig, oh no. this was a gig born of madness. It was a 'high-concept' comedy gig, the result of a feverish mind, a marketing exec and a need to fleece a local council of as much money as possible.

This was drink-up-stand-up. Part orf St Helens Comedy Festival... yes St Helens Comedy Festival. Who knew!!!

The idea is that during the course of a night a band of happy punters travel from pub to pub through the streets of St Helens - a town which boats a French restaurant called 'Le Frog' - and in each bar a comedian entertains them while they have a drink.

I was the first comedian in the first bar, a place called Zoo on Westfield Street, a long room where the audience were better lit than the stage and the only thought going through my head was whether or not the noise of my feet sticking and unsticking to the floor as I paced about was actually louder than the PA system.

Dan Nightingale was MCing. Bless him. At least I could take the money and run after performing 20 minutes to a mixture of tittering and staring. He had to lead the happy throng between bars like an hilarious Pied Piper cracking jokes through a megaphone as they went.

Still, at least it wasn't Bus-Stop-Stand-Up where they put punters on a bus and comedians perform a show for them as they drive around town. Yes, they honestly do this at St Helen's Comedy Festival.

Here's some more ideas for the marketing geniuses to consider.

Pit Stop Stand Up - Performed at the side of a race track. As many gags as you can squeeze into the 10 seconds it takes an F1 driver to have their tyres changed.

Lap-Dance-Stand-up - comedian gyrates erotically around a pole whilst pointing out the hilarious differences between dogs and cats.

Pick-Up-Stand-Up - comedians lighten the load for stressed out stranded motorists by sitting in the back of the rescue truck and cracking gags all the way home.

Wash-Up-Stand-up - comedians take the place of toilet attendants (Bog Goblins) and entertain visitors as well as passing them towels and spraying them with bootlegged cologne.

Get-Down-Stand-Up - disco classes but with an hilarious twist.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The Bus Stop Stand Up was actually good - and I'm going back for more this year.
The bus stops so you can get a drink then the comedian is top-deck ready to entertain - or as in the case of the poor Irish guy, be very scared and confused by this bus thing, then off to the 2nd stop.
Yes the bus is 40+ years old but hey.