Wednesday 24 June 2009

Shaddup a yer face.

Possibly the wrongest thing I have ever seen, and quite simply the worst cover version ever done of anything.

Imagine the Osmonds doing Smack My Bitch Up and then multiply it by Joe Dolce.

Anyway here are Take That, doing Smells Like Teen Spirit...

I know!!!

Friday 19 June 2009

bugger

I had a brilliant idea.

I was reading the other day that when you own your house you own all the sky above it and all the earth below. And that got me thinking... I wonder who lives underneath me. If I was to start digging and carry on through the mantle, the molten core until I popped out the other side... where would I emerge?

Would it be in the garden of some south pacific tribesman or the back yard of a New Zealand sheep farmer. Would I arrive triumphant in a Japanese palace or at an outback barbie.

Who is my neighbour?

I decided to find out. Not only to find out, but once I had found out I decided that thhe neighbourly thing to do would be to go and visit them.

I mean come on, what a great story. I could get an Edinburgh show, a book and probably an hour of telly out of that.

So after lots of scratching of head and fiddling of google earth I made contact with a lady who told me how to calculate my antipode. So I did. And it's slap bang in the middle of the South Pacific.

Bugger.

Monday 8 June 2009

bar hinge

Yawn... monday. What a start to the week.

The dog is going mad because it's a full moon and my lovely little daughter farted at me while I was changing her nappy.



which was nice.

Bit of a mental week this week. I'm planning to be off next week so I've got to finish a load of Scallywagga rewrites and do about 50 links for a new Dragons Den show on Beeb 2.

And then, possibly, if I get chance, spend a couple of hours making up an amusing commentary for an ITV show called "... Do The Funniest Things" for absolutely no money at all.

The kind people at Granada say that if I can make them laugh then they will give me the chance to go head to head with dozens of other writers all trying to make funnies for the same two-minute clips. The producer then cherry picks the best and the lucky chosen writer gets... £50 for their efforts.

Not sure I'm going to be able to get round to it.

Elsewhere... had some good feedback on my sitcom from the channel controller. Not good enough to give it a pilot, but good in that he liked the characters, the comedy and even the title - sorry Dan not yours. Got some very specific notes and so it's rewrite time again.

Wife has just rung me from John Lewis. We're getting a new toilet seat. One witha bar hinge apparently.