busy, busy, busy... and not doing anything that exciting really.
I spent three days last week doing a brochure for a bank... yes, a bank. A bloody bank. That's not comedy writing. That's... that's... the thin end of the wedge that's what that is.
Anyway, it's something that needs to be done to pay the bills. And I'm grateful of it at the moment. Of course I'd much prefer to be writing eight episodes and a Christmas special of an original comedy... but at the moment I have a new baby and a wife whose former boss won't pay her maternity because he's decided to wind the company up and now we're having to sue him. All nonsense I could do without.
I've also been pitching stories to the Sunday Sport. Which was kid of the purpose of this post really.
Every Monday I come up with a list of stories - fantastical ridiculous stories - and email them over to the editor Nick Appleyard, who then might commission a few of them.
It's fun to do and certiainly a lot more fulfilling than writing about fiscal philanthropy or whatever it was I was doing.
I'm going to start posting the lists I sent over on here. See if you can guess which ones got commissioned and which ones didn't.
This is the first list I sent over when I first started about four weeks ago:
I'm not going to edit them to try and make myself seem funnier. This is how they went over:
puberty to be put back three years says Europe memo.
taliban the musical to launch on broadway... songs include "I Tora Bora puddycat"
ninja sues islam over burka headgear
Is John McCain, Highlander??? - has the US presidential hopeful been around since the dawn of time? photo casebook shows someone who looks suspiciously like him on bayoux tapestry, as a witchfinder, on deck of titanic etc...
BMW drivers really are idiots, say boffins.
teachers no longer allowed to teach 'English' as government deem it racist, claims leaked memo
Panda baiting - toffs banned from hunting foxes spend hundreds of thousands on sick new pastime buying endangered animals and pitching them into battle..
Hookers to adopt 'toll charge' model. Punters will be charged more depending on the time of day and how far they want to go.
Paedophile called Jeremy Kyle gets abusive letters from people thinking he's the chat show host.
Wednesday, 26 November 2008
Saturday, 22 November 2008
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
What a week...
First Sarah's car won't work, then the laptop breaks, then my watch breaks and last night the Sky+ broke. I'll be honest, I'm a little bit worried. I'm thinking it might be me next.
Oh, AND I had the monologue piece I submitted to Radio 4 rejected. I'm quite gutted about that because I really liked it and there's nowhere else it could go really. So I'll just have to sit on it for a while. Fairly positive feedback though, just no keen on the continuous single voice format. Apparently they like their comedy and drama to be a break from the "relentless reportage" of their daily output. Ah well.
I've got another idea for radio I'm really keen on. So after I've filled out my funding for for the British Film council to see if I can get some cash from them to write a film idea I have, I'll start work on that.
I did have some good news. Susan Nickson of Two Pints fame asked to see my Sunday Lunchers script and texted Micheal Jacob close to midnight to ask if I could come and do a week on the show. We've turned that into two weeks now. I'm really looking forward to it.
I've got some comedy college pics I'll put up soon.
First Sarah's car won't work, then the laptop breaks, then my watch breaks and last night the Sky+ broke. I'll be honest, I'm a little bit worried. I'm thinking it might be me next.
Oh, AND I had the monologue piece I submitted to Radio 4 rejected. I'm quite gutted about that because I really liked it and there's nowhere else it could go really. So I'll just have to sit on it for a while. Fairly positive feedback though, just no keen on the continuous single voice format. Apparently they like their comedy and drama to be a break from the "relentless reportage" of their daily output. Ah well.
I've got another idea for radio I'm really keen on. So after I've filled out my funding for for the British Film council to see if I can get some cash from them to write a film idea I have, I'll start work on that.
I did have some good news. Susan Nickson of Two Pints fame asked to see my Sunday Lunchers script and texted Micheal Jacob close to midnight to ask if I could come and do a week on the show. We've turned that into two weeks now. I'm really looking forward to it.
I've got some comedy college pics I'll put up soon.
Tuesday, 11 November 2008
dinner
Oh... my head.
Comedy college kicked off in style yesterday with a talk from Jon Mountague who runs BBC Comedy North, we then watched an episode of My Family, we'll be spending this week rewriting a first draft script of the show as an exercise. The idea being we'll watch the broadcast episode on Friday and see how ours compares.
There are some WWE wrestlers staying in the same hotel and hundreds of WWE fans. What a bunch of characters they are. They all started trying to get into the hotel. It was like something out of The Warriors. The hotel bar imposed increasingly bizarre rules to try and put them off. At first it was one drink per customer, then it was only one drink per customer and you could only get served if you had your roomcard and something else. Finally there was some sort of password you had to give. It didn't work. When we found out we could only have one drink the collegiates ingeniuosly got around this by making sure their one drink was a bottle of wine.
NOT paid for by the BBC I hasten to add. No chance.
Tuesday we did out first session of brainstorming ideas for the My Family script, then we had a psychotherapist come in and talk about various psychological theories of comedy, Jung's archetypes and... stuff. Quite useful.
And watched an episode of the Gary Shandling show. Never seen it before. Brilliant.
Got a gig tonight in Tyldesely... wherever that is.
Comedy college kicked off in style yesterday with a talk from Jon Mountague who runs BBC Comedy North, we then watched an episode of My Family, we'll be spending this week rewriting a first draft script of the show as an exercise. The idea being we'll watch the broadcast episode on Friday and see how ours compares.
There are some WWE wrestlers staying in the same hotel and hundreds of WWE fans. What a bunch of characters they are. They all started trying to get into the hotel. It was like something out of The Warriors. The hotel bar imposed increasingly bizarre rules to try and put them off. At first it was one drink per customer, then it was only one drink per customer and you could only get served if you had your roomcard and something else. Finally there was some sort of password you had to give. It didn't work. When we found out we could only have one drink the collegiates ingeniuosly got around this by making sure their one drink was a bottle of wine.
NOT paid for by the BBC I hasten to add. No chance.
Tuesday we did out first session of brainstorming ideas for the My Family script, then we had a psychotherapist come in and talk about various psychological theories of comedy, Jung's archetypes and... stuff. Quite useful.
And watched an episode of the Gary Shandling show. Never seen it before. Brilliant.
Got a gig tonight in Tyldesely... wherever that is.
Monday, 10 November 2008
Comedy College
It's week 2, Comedy College... starting today. Everyone is coming up from London for a week of talks and stuff at the Macdonald Hotel in Manchester.
If I get chance I'll keep this updated with goings on.
If I get chance I'll keep this updated with goings on.
Friday, 31 October 2008
I Tora Bora Puddytat
Bloody hell... I knew I'd let it slide. The thing is I've been really, really busy. which is good. And Blogs are essentially something people with too much time on their hands do. So I've not been doing it. It's always been there though. niggling at the back of my mind. Bloody thing.
Right what's happened? David has been commissioned for a series of Admin. It's gone to his head. He's already started wearing sunglasses at night and answering his front door naked. We're working with some girls developing a script we want to stage as a live show, but ultimately pitch as a sitcom. They are all mental. Seriously. Nice, but mental.
BBC Comedy North have finally decided that we're going to film a couple of the internet shorts I wrote about a man called Steve Bishop who is looking for the love of his life. Which will be nice. I'm to play Steve, but half of one of my eyebrows is missing at the moment after I had an OCD moment the other day and couldn't stop picking it. I know. disgusting. I'm going to have to wait for that to grow back.
The monologue I pained and groaned about has gone off to Radio 4. It's an idea I developed with a friend. He kind of came up with the concept and I came up with a script and the treatment and the ideas which have taken it this far. Apparently the head of development likes the title. I'm not sure how encouraged I should be by that information... but it's got to be good news, surely. Hasn't it.
I haven't touched my Comedy College script since I met with Mr Smoking Room Brian Dooley - bloody lovely fella by the way. Even if he did go to Cambridge. It needs a total rewrite, the next college residential is in two weeks when everyone comes to Manchester. More to be posted as I hear it.
Oh, and speaking of Cambridge I've been asked for sketches for a BBC2 pilot for an ex footlights member. Deadline next week... shit...
What's been taking my time up is a copywriting job I've taken to help pay the bills, AND writing stories for the Sunday Sport.
I have to say the Sport Newspapers took a bit of a battering recently. Since Tony Livesey left they've been all over the show, it's been through a few relaunches but circulation figures have kept dropping. I'm not bothered about the Daily Sport, that's a horrible paper, but the Sunday Sport was once an institution. Before it got loaded with ropey models and lowest common denominator sex stories it was a great funny read. And I'm glad to say it's gone back to form. It's filling out now with funny stories under the guidance of new editor Nick Appleyard, so I've been pitching a few funnies there to try and keep the wolf from the door.
Last week I managed to get a full page with: Taliban the musical to launch on broadway... songs include "I Tora Bora puddycat"
Other stories I got in were: teachers no longer allowed to teach 'English' as government deem it racist, claims leaked memo; Panda baiting - toffs banned from hunting foxes spend hundreds of thousands on sick new pastime buying endangered animals and pitching them into battle; and paedophile called Jeremy Kyle gets abusive letters from people thinking he's the chat show host.
I've just given them an idea about Osama Bin Laden sending Jonathan Ross a message of support (he's in a lot of trouble this week). They want 250 words...
Better get writing. Then off to Leicester Jongleurs for the weekend... huzzah!
Right what's happened? David has been commissioned for a series of Admin. It's gone to his head. He's already started wearing sunglasses at night and answering his front door naked. We're working with some girls developing a script we want to stage as a live show, but ultimately pitch as a sitcom. They are all mental. Seriously. Nice, but mental.
BBC Comedy North have finally decided that we're going to film a couple of the internet shorts I wrote about a man called Steve Bishop who is looking for the love of his life. Which will be nice. I'm to play Steve, but half of one of my eyebrows is missing at the moment after I had an OCD moment the other day and couldn't stop picking it. I know. disgusting. I'm going to have to wait for that to grow back.
The monologue I pained and groaned about has gone off to Radio 4. It's an idea I developed with a friend. He kind of came up with the concept and I came up with a script and the treatment and the ideas which have taken it this far. Apparently the head of development likes the title. I'm not sure how encouraged I should be by that information... but it's got to be good news, surely. Hasn't it.
I haven't touched my Comedy College script since I met with Mr Smoking Room Brian Dooley - bloody lovely fella by the way. Even if he did go to Cambridge. It needs a total rewrite, the next college residential is in two weeks when everyone comes to Manchester. More to be posted as I hear it.
Oh, and speaking of Cambridge I've been asked for sketches for a BBC2 pilot for an ex footlights member. Deadline next week... shit...
What's been taking my time up is a copywriting job I've taken to help pay the bills, AND writing stories for the Sunday Sport.
I have to say the Sport Newspapers took a bit of a battering recently. Since Tony Livesey left they've been all over the show, it's been through a few relaunches but circulation figures have kept dropping. I'm not bothered about the Daily Sport, that's a horrible paper, but the Sunday Sport was once an institution. Before it got loaded with ropey models and lowest common denominator sex stories it was a great funny read. And I'm glad to say it's gone back to form. It's filling out now with funny stories under the guidance of new editor Nick Appleyard, so I've been pitching a few funnies there to try and keep the wolf from the door.
Last week I managed to get a full page with: Taliban the musical to launch on broadway... songs include "I Tora Bora puddycat"
Other stories I got in were: teachers no longer allowed to teach 'English' as government deem it racist, claims leaked memo; Panda baiting - toffs banned from hunting foxes spend hundreds of thousands on sick new pastime buying endangered animals and pitching them into battle; and paedophile called Jeremy Kyle gets abusive letters from people thinking he's the chat show host.
I've just given them an idea about Osama Bin Laden sending Jonathan Ross a message of support (he's in a lot of trouble this week). They want 250 words...
Better get writing. Then off to Leicester Jongleurs for the weekend... huzzah!
Monday, 20 October 2008
snowing on my shoulders
I have been struck down with a massive bout of dandruff. Seriously. It looks like Amy Winehouse has sneezed on my shoulders.
Off to meet Mr Smoking Room, Brian Dooley today. I haven't a clue what to expect to get out of it but I'm really looking forward to just sitting down and chatting about the script.
The monologue was well received. But... oh yes there's always a but, I'm going to chop it down and do a 15 minute version to see if it works. just because there are more 15 minute slots available on Radio 4 for 'new' writers.
I found out from the British Sitcom Guide that there is a new Radio 4 sketch show taking submissions. it's called 'Recorded For Training Purposes' and has communication of varying sorts as it's central theme. They're only taking three sketches off each person so I've thought of a few to send in. Although this week is Scallywagga deadline ... again so I should think of some more for that.
ho-hum
Off to meet Mr Smoking Room, Brian Dooley today. I haven't a clue what to expect to get out of it but I'm really looking forward to just sitting down and chatting about the script.
The monologue was well received. But... oh yes there's always a but, I'm going to chop it down and do a 15 minute version to see if it works. just because there are more 15 minute slots available on Radio 4 for 'new' writers.
I found out from the British Sitcom Guide that there is a new Radio 4 sketch show taking submissions. it's called 'Recorded For Training Purposes' and has communication of varying sorts as it's central theme. They're only taking three sketches off each person so I've thought of a few to send in. Although this week is Scallywagga deadline ... again so I should think of some more for that.
ho-hum
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